There are probably a thousand choices that we make on a daily basis. Some are easy decisions like what route to take to work. Other decisions are more difficult, like what we are going to wear to work when all the laundry is dirty.
Every now and then there is a decision that weighs on your heart in a way that somehow feels like the right or wrong answer will set the course of the universe. I can think back on a handful of these larger-than-life forks-in-the-road and the stress that has surrounded the situations. Marriage, job changes and buying a house name a few.
Looking back on my monstrous decisions in life, there has been a central theme to the ones that have worked out for the better. Some call it intuition, but I believe that it has been a divine draw to follow God’s plan. He is speaking to our ‘gut’ or conscience. The pieces surrounding the right decisions in life seem to line up in a divine way that is beyond our comprehension.
The disclaimer in following this path, is it does not mean that decision is going to be free of stress or doubt. What is does mean is that He promises us that we will be able to look back on that decision with perspective, and see how following his lead led to a great blessing.
This past year has been a year of very difficult decisions for both my wife and I. We have continually questioned God’s motives in situations, and worked hard to maintain our Faith in a greater plan. We have been forced to make judgment calls that are way outside of our realm of comfort. Sometimes I really want to ignore the negative signs surrounding a situation and blaze my own trail anyway. It is a consistent battle between what I want in life and what God has for us in the future if we continue to stay faithful. Waiting is not something I am good at.
A door opened last week. Surrounded by chaos and multiple signs that this was not our door of opportunity, we entertained the idea of stepping over the threshold anyway. My gut was telling me no, and my flesh was screaming yes.
We closed the door.
I am surrounded with doubt and pain. I know in my heart it was the right thing to do, but it didn’t make it easier. Until we step through God’s divine door, we will not understand why the other door opened in the first place. Perhaps God was testing our faith in His plan.
“I’m growing tired of the testing God. Please just line up the pieces. I don’t have much more to give.”
“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world” –CS Lewis