This past week I was sick again. It was a slow moving head cold that took almost two full weeks to make it through my system. I am typically a pretty healthy individual so to be fighting my second cold in less than a month was beyond frustrating.
Being sick to me is a bit like being hungry. I am on a short fuse, all I can focus on is feeling better, and everyone around me is a bit too cheerful. All I can think about at times is getting away from everyone and everything in order to nurse myself back to life.
To top things off, I had a huge deadline at work last week so taking a day to play caveman hermit was not an option. I had a good 50-60 hours of solid work to get through and just had to drug it up and plow through. My stress level from being sick, pushing towards a deadline, and not being able to workout was eating away at me to the point that I was not a person that anyone wanted to be around. I literally had about 10 crisis situations hit me that needed immediate attention, and I was freaking out.
I was starting to feel a bit better towards the weekend, although my stress level was at an all-time high. Ignoring my gut reaction to plow through all weekend on my deadline, on Saturday I packed up my car and drove east about two hours into the middle of the desert. Some guys I knew were camping out there and I figured that a little fresh air, a bike ride and a night out in the middle of nowhere would help me get a grip.
I hit pause. Not ‘reset’, but ‘pause’.
It’s hard not to feel like your problems are small when you look up at night and see the billions of shining stars in the dark sky. It is in moments like these that I feel God beside me as tangibly as you would feel a warm embrace from a friend. It is that real to me. Like a whisper in the night, I realized that all the stress was temporary, and I had the strength to make it through.
Sometimes life does not allow us to slow down and we have to go into battle to face the challenges before us. Sometimes we are sick. Sometimes we are broken. Sometimes we just want to run away. But we can always hit ‘pause’. Drive to the desert at night, look up at the stars. If you look up into the expanse of space, see the milky way and feel peace inside, then you probably know my God. If you feel lost and alone, then let’s talk.
There is not a miracle pill to swallow to make everything in life bubbly, but hitting pause and reflecting on what really matters makes the tough times easier to get through.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.