Ignorance is bliss. I envy the minds of children that celebrate the fullness of life without fear of consequence or failure. I envy their joyful spirits in the midst of sickness and troubled souls. I wish I could stand and smile at the bright colored cereal box on the shelf in front of me and simply salivate at the thought of sugar hitting my tongue. I reminisce at times how nice it was to not understand the dynamics of death, cancer, terrorism, and the possibility of random accidents. I often want to go back to the days of playtime, sleep, and bedtime stories. Back to the days when being home by sundown and wondering what was for dinner were the only concerns in life.
I wish I could eat a meal and not wonder where the food came from. I wish I could just go to work and not spend my time wondering why we can’t seem to operate more efficiently. I wish I could look at a sunset and not wonder what it means.
I envy the people that just float through life without stopping to think about the “why” questions that haunt my daily existence. How much easier it must be to never seek a deeper truth in all of this chaos. I envy the Christian that just buys all this stuff hook-line-and-sinker. The Christians that just believe in it all and never ask questions. The Christians that preach their philosophy without any thought as to if it is even real in the first place. It must be nice. I am just not that guy.
I have to admit at times, my own faith seems crazy to me. The thought that out of all the reaches of space, God put us here on this planet. The thought that there was this intricate plan devised by a God without bounds to send his own offspring to this earth, and sacrifice that person for the whole of humanity. Why would a God, who can do just about whatever he wishes, come up with such a crazy plan, and even more so, why do I believe it is true?
I have gone through quite a journey as a believer. One that has questioned just about every truth that the church itself clings to in earnest. I look for the harmony of science and Christianity- not a popular stance on either side. I have spent considerable time seeking proof of the historical significance and divine existence of Christ.
Like I said, ignorance would be bliss. I would probably get more sleep at night anyway.
So after all this, why do I believe in this one religion? Well, all my thoughts and quest for knowledge has brought me back to a place that points my mind towards this as truth. I go for a long run along the beach, and I see the waves out at sea and I just know in my soul this is not by chance. I look at humans and see the only species on the planet that seek to worship a god. Why is that? Why are humans the only species on the planet that wear clothes? Why is this that our nakedness is an embarrassment if the fall of man never took place? Why do the 66 different books of the Bible written by over 40 authors over 2000 years speak in harmony? And finally, why has this change happened inside my soul just for believing? Why do I have unexplained peace in times of sadness? Why when the feeling of hope is all gone, do I have faith? To me, this all points towards God, and I think it is a beautiful thing.
At the end of the day, I think being an analytical person will make your faith stronger. I hope others are in question of their own beliefs and that people are not afraid to ask the question ‘why?’ Life is much more fulfilling when you ask the ‘why’ questions anyway. The grasp of Christian spirituality is much more rewarding when you take that journey into the unknown and ask questions along the way. The beauty of it all is that there are answers out there if you seek them hard enough.
But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.